Uh-huh.

After telling Mom a story about a friend...

ME: And he's so funny, and SO smart.

MOM: And a little bit strange.

That Face...

While learning to use Facebook.

MOM: I was telling [my friend] about "Dogface".

ME: "Dogface"? You haven't told *me* about "Dogface".

MOM: What's it called?

ME: What are you talking about?

MOM: The thing with the dogs on Facebook.

ME: Dogbook.

MOM: Oh! I hope I didn't tell her it was "Dogface".

Oh Yeah. That Guy.

ME: Guess who I heard is splitting up?

MOM: Oh no! Not What's-His-Name!

Mom to English Dictionary

As many of our parents do, my mother has her own words or expressions for certain things, usually titles of films, brand names, and the like. Here is a short sample.

Children of the Corn = The Cornpeople
Doctor Who episode, "The Waters of Mars" = "The Waterpeople"
V = The V People
An Officer and a Gentleman = A Gentleman and a Friend
Circle K = Special K
Safeway = Shop-Rite
Shake n Run Beverage Mix = Run n Go
Freema Agyeman of Doctor Who = The Cop on Torchwood (she actually only guest-starred on 2 episodes)
Michelina's = Michaelangelo's
DVD = disk
Old Dominion University/ODU = The OD
BBC America = BBC/The British Channel
Law & Order: SVU = Law & Order: SUV
Bill Cosby = Bill Cawsby (like Bing Crosby)
The Cosby Show = Cawsby or The Cawsby Show (usually the former)
Star Trek: Voyager = That One With Janeway Who Was Mean to Sam Malone on Cheers (I kid you not; she holds it against her)
Commander Riker, "Number One" = "Number Two" (poop)

Fresh from the Garden State

ME: That was delicious.

MOM: It was JERSEYlicious! ... I saw that ... wait ... what IS that?

Get a Tissue

MOM: A "sniveling suspect"? Does that mean he has a runny nose?

ME: That would be a sniffling suspect.

Fashion Plates

ME: I am not a fan of wearing a shirt and tie to work.

MOM: Well, don't make appointments to see anyone until Fridays, and then just tell them it's "casual Friday".

Inoculation

ME: I think I should figure out a way to put that online.

MOM: No! I don't want to go viral!

Deep Throat

*holding her throat*

MOM: What's that thing with the funny name...? UVULA! That's it. You always get it confused with vulva.

ME: Well, I don't.

Field of Shattered Dreams

*looking through the on-screen guide for a movie*

MOM: Fandango! That sounds... Kevin Costner?! I don't think so.